A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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69.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops