How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

Grace Ackerson

A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

Canadians

Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

Loperson

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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