What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops