How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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call me maybe.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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An anti-joke

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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