Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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