How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops