How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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