- Anti Joke

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! closes door

Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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