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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

Whats brown a sticky, shit

Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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