How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops