Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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