A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops