Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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Charlie Sheen

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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