I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

eden stop

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...