What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

whats up and also down? your mum

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

Your mom is so nice.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

cats are pussies

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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