Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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K

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Flab

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What is worse

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roses are red violets are blue i hate black people

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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rape that shit

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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