What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

Women"s Rights

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

Gestapo.

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

Like this joke

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

What is the difference between a duck?

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...