A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I LIKE TURLES.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops