Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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dat shoe shine tho

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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