Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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A gay man watches football.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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