Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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