What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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I like the color potato.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops