Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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Do you like apples? Yes

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops