What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops