What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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