Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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