What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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