Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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watch a i d s left

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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