Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Read a Book.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

thumb_up thumb_down -29

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops