What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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