What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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