why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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