A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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