Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -10

there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops