Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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