patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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