Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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