Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops