What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops