Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Burp

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops