Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops