hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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David Cameron

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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