What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops