Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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