How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops