What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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This is an anti-joke.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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