A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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My cat just died.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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