-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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the WNBA.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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