A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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