What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops