What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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