Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Brain fart

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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