What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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