Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops