Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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69

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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