How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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