have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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