What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Andoni was here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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