Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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