jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops