Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops