What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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