Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Grace Ackerson

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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