There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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