whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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