how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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