What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops