Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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