Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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You are joking right?

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops