What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

thumb_up thumb_down

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have a really funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops