Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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