Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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