"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops