I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops