A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops