Knock knock, COME IN!

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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