how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what happened to your carpool? they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

like if your cool

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats funny? Your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops