Knock knock Fuck off!

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

kkkk

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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