When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you scare a black man? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

FUCK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Oh, go away

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops