What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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