Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

knock knock who's there? hope

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

You know what's cool? Yep.

No

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...