Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

I put my baby in a microwave.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...