Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops