Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Lindsay Lohan

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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