So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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