A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Republicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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