How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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